Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Nonverbal

Nonverbal is one of my favorite fields of study. There is so much that goes into nonverbal communication. Well reading about "supplement verbal communication" it reminded me of myself. My friends say that I can never be serious or frown while talking. It doesn't really matter the words I'm saying, because my nonverbal come across as my bubbly happy self. This makes it really hard for me to play games that require bluffing.

This weekend I was joking around with my friend Brian by saying, "well, I don't like you anyways," but I couldn't do it with a straight face. My laughing indicated that I wasn't serious. Words are overlooked more than I thought. You can point right and say left and most likely the person will go right. We play very close attention to nonverbals. Nonverbals aren't only actions though, it can be anything from the clothes you wear to distance you stand from someone. You subconsciously or continuously make choices everyday about how you will be portrayed by people around you. If you choose to wear a tight fitting dress over baggy sweats, you are seen in a different light. If you stand inches away from a man and brush against his arm, you might be saying something else. It amazes me how much we say by saying nothing at all.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Verbal

As I looked at "Parallel Language" it made me wonder why feminine words seem more negative. I'd much rather be seen as a wizard than a witch any day. While a lady that that is unmarried might be seen as a spinster or old maid, a man is still a bachelor. Growing up, I remember asking my grandma about her husband. She didn't have the best marriage to say the least. I feel like many women today would easily divorce their alcoholic husbands, but she didn't. She always brings up..."I was worried that I'd be an old maid if I didn't marry him." It makes me so sad, that such an angel of a lady felt like she had to settle, so she wasn't seen as a "failure." 

Being a bachelor seems to have a sense of youth and freedom still. Women are always talked about as the "old ball and chain." It seems to me that, as women we don't really feel accomplished until we trick a nice man into marring us. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to trick someone into that. I want him to want to marry me. The comment in the reading by Brian made me think about taking on my future husband's name. I never really thought about that. I always assumed I would take my husband's last name. As a little girl when I had a crush...okay still to this day, when I have a crush, I put your first name with their last to see if it flows nicely.

One day in my interpersonal communication class my professor asked us to shout out names for men and women that might be seen as promiscuous. The class was a little hesitant at first, but then the words started to flow. Slut, whore, prostitute, trick, bitch, easy, man whore, player or stud. Words for men who were sexually active, were almost seen as encouraged or funny, while the words for women are negative and degrading.Words make all the difference. Does this mean there is a double standard with gender language?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Men's Movements

As I read about male gender movements, I thought it was very interesting the first line of the chapter saying, "Historically, American men have been less involved than women in gender movements." With that I really wondered, why that was. I wondered if women's movements have just been more in the media, louder, and on a larger scale. They talked about men being feminist and how that is often looked down upon. I think that women feminists are more focused on, due to the fact that they are women. I wonder if being a male feminist, you lose some credibility by not being "true to your sex." I wonder if this is the reason more male feminists aren't being shown in the media and even in history.

When the text mentioned fraternities, it really caught my attention, because the majority of my friends are in fraternities. One time I found myself, the only girl at their house as they all started to talk about girls they had been with. They went around the table and told the best boobs they had seen. As they rated the "top ten tites" they had seen it made me laugh, but slightly uncomfortable. I wondered what they said about me when I wasn't there. If I was to tell them the best dicks I'd seen, it would be seen as inappropriate and tacky. If was to do that, I'd be afraid of being seen as a girl that "gets around." They joked about when men leave a girl's house in the morning it's called the stride of pride, but when women do, it's the walk of shame. I'm not saying these boys are disrespectful to women or even in the wrong, but I just find it interesting how other guys are encouraged within a group setting. I wondered if in a smaller group or one on one they would say the same things.